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Hi! Welcome to Vertigo's Fun House. Here, you'll find write-ups on unsolved mysteries, riffs of creepypastas/fanfiction, and more. Thanks for stopping by! It means a lot.

Monday, December 31, 2018

Decemystery 30: The Kecksburg UFO Incident

Wooooosh.

Finally. At all long last. After an agonizingly long wait. The entry where I can legitimately talk about aliens without it being a joke. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Men and women. It's time to dive into the Kecksburg UFO Incident.



On December 9, 1965, the sky was lit up by an enormous fireball that was seen in Ontario, Canada and across six U.S. states. The brilliantly vibrant object streaked between Detroit, Michigan and Windsor, Canada. During its trip, it left hot metal in Michigan and northern Ohio, set fire to grass, and sent out sonic booms before it finally crashed into the woods in Kecksburg, Pennsylvania where residents reported “wisps of blue smoke”, “vibrations”, and a resounding thump before all went silent.

Before the smoke had even settled, the local police force roped off the location the strange object had decided to call its new home in preparation for the arrival of the United States military. It’s been reported that not long after this, military convoys came and went until everything quieted down and the incident gained the nickname of “Pennsylvania’s Roswell”.

And strangely, that’s all there is to the story. The object lit up the sky for thousands of people, crashed, and was subsequently taken away by the U.S. army. So, what was it? Well, that’s never been officially answered (sort of). So, I guess it’s time for theories, and boy oh boy is this going to be surreal. After a month of joking that it was aliens, I can strangely start things off by saying that our first theory is that it was, well, really a UFO.

Cases, reports, and stories of UFOs crashing or crash landing (or even simply landing) on Earth are far from rare. The most famous, and the one that gave this entire story its nickname, is the Roswell, New Mexico incident. The official report states that what crashed there was nothing more than a weather balloon, but there are a plethora of claims, books, TV specials, movies, and even video games that will either tell you otherwise or entertain you with the possibility that aliens crashed there for one reason or another.

The possibility that something like Roswell really did happen in Kecksburg is something that depends very heavily on who you are and where you stand on aliens coming to Earth. Whether you take the hieroglyphics in Egypt to be stories of alien visitation or something else is strictly and purely on you and you alone, but I feel that’s probably one of the best ways to gauge how you feel about aliens, masters of galactic/intergalactic, space travel doing the following:

1. Not having the foresight to realize that their ship was in need of fueling up or repairs.

2. Not having a colony or base set up on any number of planets in a galaxy with 500+ billion stars and even more planets to stop and fuel up/repair their ship.

3. Picking Earth of every planet in the entire galaxy to land on—this one planet was the one that they picked and that they knew would not kill them… and yet they still crashed and probably died in said crash.

The laws of probability are very, very, very against a UFO crashing in Kecksburg, but don’t let me sway you from what you may (or may not) believe in. At the end of the day, we’re all entitled to our own opinions. Alas, in my opinion, the galaxy-sized holes in aliens crashing on Earth make it hard for me to believe this.

Theory number two is that it was a top secret government aircraft that crashed. Can’t have a story about aliens without the government. The two are like best buds that go back to when they were three years old and would play with toy trucks together. Only now they play with real life trucks and use said trucks to have military units fight each other in the name of the New World Order or something!

This theory dictates that the object that crashed was probably some prototype Stealth Bomber or something along those lines; or a fighter jet. Pick your aircraft of extreme killing capabilities and fly with it. The United States Air Force has tested aircraft typically in remote parts of states and from time to time, the sound barrier being broken will cause alarm for some. Aircrafts crashing, however, I believe is significantly rarer. Yes, it does happen, but I can’t quite recall ever reading that an aircraft crash was seen over six states. Not unless the aircraft in question was of questionably large size. If I’m wrong however, please inform me and I will admit defeat.

The third theory is that it was a weather balloon or something akin to that. Indeed, can’t have a story about aliens and the government without those glorious weather balloons. They’re the best thing since sliced bread and disappointing test returns on strange fabrics and metals you find on your ranch lawn, partner.

That said, where as Roswell was by and large a sound-based performance as put on by a 1940s version of Skrillex, Kecksburg had a bigger budget and Michael Bay to assist with setting the object in the sky on fire. That, in turn, lends me to believe that the object in the sky wasn’t a weather balloon. Not unless the weather balloon was a Transformer anyways.

Our fourth theory, and one I must admit that I am personally throwing into the fray because I’ve seen this raised in some YouTube videos I’ve watched on similar incidents, is that it was an angel falling from Heaven.

Stories of fallen angels have been around for a very long time; the most famous of these arguably being the story of Satan (or Lucifer), who was cast out of Heaven for his pride and trying to tempt Jesus. It’s said that when he was cast out of Heaven, he “fell to Earth like lightning”. You can interpret this as being literal or metaphorical; that he was cast out swiftly. However, being that there are supposed videos and stories of angels “falling” to Earth, we shall assume that this Biblical quote is literal.

There are a few issues with this both from a Biblical standpoint and a scientific standpoint. As I’d rather not continue talking about theology, we shall just focus on the latter of those two issues, and it’s the easier of the two.

For starters, angels are, historically, spiritual beings. Whether or not you see them as beings of pure light is up to you, but spirits (be they ghosts or something else) and science have never quite gone together. Without any evidence to back their existence up, one could throw this theory out right away. However, let’s just say that it’s a thing of belief. More often than not, these “fallen angels” end up being meteors entering the Earth’s atmosphere and nothing else. They can also being falling satellites or some other kind of space debris/junk.

The second issue, and the biggest one in my eyes, is that there’s never any point from where these supposed angels originate from. Although the universe is a gargantuan place, the idea that an angel flew across from the edge of the universe to Earth just to plummet to the ground is a little bit more than “hard to the believe”. Still, even if you buy this theory, why exactly would the military send a convoy to the crash site if this angel was cast out to presumably go to Hell? That question can lead down a rabbit hole that I think is best left untouched for now. So let’s just all agree this theory is bunk and move on.

Theory five is it was a meteor; the rationals favorite when it comes to any supposed UFO crash. Meteors are the basis for many blueballings and will continue to be until we either discover aliens, they discover us, or people stop thinking everything in the sky is a UFO.

However, in the case of the Kecksburg incident, this is one of the less likely theories—albeit more likely than an angel falling to Earth. There’s one theory that blocks out this one's chance at being the blue baller that it usually is. Especially with a military convoy wanting to take away a space rock that they can likely find on their roofs any day of the week of the month of the year of the decade of the I’ll shut up now.

The sixth theory is that it was one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse… okay, I made this one up. Let me have my fun!

This theory, made up all by myself because be quiet, dictates that one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse has arrived and we’re all going to die. Look out, Darksiders is real. Ahh!

Oh be quiet, it’s been nearly a month, I think I deserve a bit of fun.

Our seventh theory is that it was a satellite that fell out of orbit and crashed. This theory is the most popular by those who disregard the possibility that it wasn’t something not of this Earth. Falling satellites—be they from NASA or an intelligence agency—have been mistaken for meteors and UFOs in the past. In this case, the biggest purporter that it was a satellite comes from a man by the name of John Ventre who works at MUFON (the “Mutual UFO Network”) and a Shafton native by the name of Owen Eichler. Both believe that the object that fell there was the re-entry vehicle to a spy satellite launched by the Air Force. However, there’s two major hindrances for this theory. The first is that there’s never been any confirmation by either NASA or any intelligence agency. The second is that in 2005, NASA said that the pieces they investigated at the crash site were from a crashed Russian satellite, but they “lost” the records of their findings in the 1990s. In spite of this statement, I’ll still be covering the remainder of the theories.

Now granted, no foreign agency like MI6 or Mossad would admit to something like this. Aside from being embarrassing, letting other countries know they have satellites in orbit potentially spying on them would cause a pretty big storm in intelligence communities around the world. That said, this theory is arguably the most down-to-earth, both figuratively and literally.

Now onto the eighth theory: it was a Soviet spy plane. Cold War. Peak. Yadda yadda. You get the drill. If you don’t: read up on history. This theory can be applied to so much during the 20th century that it’s not even funny.

The ninth theory—and by far the most absurd in my eyes—is that it was a Nazi UFO; one that was carrying the super secret Nazi weapon “Die Glocke”. This theory is one I’m going to shorten as much as I can because any Nazi conspiracy theory connects to about a dozen others and if I go into this theory in depth, I’m going to be here for the next week writing about everything from Hitler becoming allies with aliens to the Fourth Reich being on the dark side of the Moon.

Die Glocke—literally translating to “The Bell” in German—was supposedly a weapon made by the Nazis during World War II that was first described by a Polish author named Igor Witkowski and has since been spread by other authors and researchers. The weapon has been linked to occultism (something strangely popular with the Nazis when it comes to conspiracies and the like, though it may have some basis in truth), antigravity and even free energy.

With that said, this weapon was supposedly on board the crashed aircraft or was powering it; in this case a UFO. Nazis having made, or been working on, disk-shaped aircrafts is far from anything new. It’s been long rumored that Hitler wanted a smaller and more maneuverable aircraft to fight the Allies with—or to use for spying purposes. Whether or not the Nazis ever got around to planning such an aircraft, or even made a prototype version, has never been discovered. There have been claims by some that the Nazis did begin work, but again: no proof has been brought forth. That isn’t to say that the Nazis didn’t plan—or even work—on some extremely weird projects, though that isn’t the focus of this blog.

With all of that: we now have a picture of what happened here. A Nazi UFO—wherever it came from, be it the Moon or some Antarctic base (if that’s the version of the Nazi hideout theory you subscribe to)—was either struck by a missile or malfunctioned and subsequently burst into flames and crashed in Kecksburg. The United States military goes to inspect it, finds Die Glocke, and takes it back; covering up the entire thing with a nonsensical cover story or suppresses it until nobody remembers it.

There are also theories that it wasn't just a Nazi UFO, but a time traveling Nazi UFO. There was one high-ranking Nazi official, named Heinrich Muller, who was never found. Those who believe Die Glocke to be real theorize that it's been used for time travel. Perhaps some day, I'll cover this more. I'll be sure to sufficiently drunk if I do.

This theory has become extremely popular among Sci-Fi writers and has been covered on plenty of television shows, such as the History Channel’s “Ancient Aliens”. In reality however, and as is the case with every other Nazi conspiracy theory, there’s no evidence to back it up. It is a very interesting basis for a potential Sci-Fi story, but realistically: the likelihood that the Nazis managed to discover a miracle weapon/technology and couldn’t manage to win win World War II by using it to obliterate the Soviet Union is utter nonsense.

And with that, we’ve covered every theory that I could find/think of for the Kecksburg UFO Incident. While NASA may have given an official statement over a decade ago based on what they investigated, there are those who remain unconvinced. I, for one, think it was a satellite, but whether or not it really was a Russian one or the blame was pinned on them to prevent a Cold War embarrassment is up for debate.

In the end, UFOs and aliens in general are a very weird topic to discuss. While life on another planet is extremely likely, the idea that aliens have visited us is a divisive topic. The Kecksburg UFO Incident has the hallmarks of something suspicious, but whether or not that equates to an actual UFO crash is very tricky to say with absolute certainty. I think it's best if you make up your own mind however. While I personally don't believe in many UFO-related conspiracies, I don't believe it's wrong to have your own personal views on them. In the case of Pennsylvania's Roswell, I'd say it has a higher chance of being a legitimate UFO than the actual Roswell.

2 comments:

  1. I'm going with Soviet Spy Plane. Given the time frame, makes the most logical sense. ...Although I do admit the ailen theory is fun one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tyler "Bio" RodriguezDecember 31, 2018 at 6:31 PM

    Oh Nazi UFOs... a personal favorite concept of mine when it comes to sci fi. Historically its pretty out there, Indiana Jones is historically more accurate. As to what Kecksburg was, my guess is satalite with some obvious caveats.

    ReplyDelete