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Hi! Welcome to Vertigo's Fun House. Here, you'll find write-ups on unsolved mysteries, riffs of creepypastas/fanfiction, and more. Thanks for stopping by! It means a lot.

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Godzilla: King of the Box Office or King of the Box Office Bombs?

I hate math, but I love looking at the box office to see how film's perform. I've got a decent understanding of it and when I see a film that's worthy of a sequel, I tend to follow its time in theaters to see if it does well or if it doesn't. The same goes for a film that I hate (I'm looking at you, Fant4stic). Generally speaking, I can tell when a film will do well or won't. For example, it wasn't difficult to tell that the aforementioned Fant4stic wouldn't do well. It came out around the time that Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation was out and that siphoned a fair bit of money it might've made. That, plus the controversy surrounding it, didn't help.

With that said, Warner Bros’ “Monsterverse” is a different beast. The kaiju genre isn’t something that’s always appealed in the west—especially the United States. Roland Emmerich’s 1998 film “Godzilla” was far from the best way to introduce Godzilla to the average American moviegoer. However, it made a fair bit of money, but not enough to warrant a sequel. As such, the series lay dormant in America and has since aged… divisively. Some see it as a fine monster movie, but still loathe it as a Godzilla film. Others loathe it across the board.

Fast forward to when Gareth Edwards’ 2014 Godzilla film came out. While it too  was divisive (to say the least), it appealed to fans of the character and was successful enough to warrant a sequel. A sequel that took over five years to come out and while Kong: Skull Island tied into that film, that’s besides the point.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters was, in the eyes of many, poised to be a kaiju-sized success. Many suspected that Michael Doughtery (director of Trick ‘r’ Treat and Krampus) would fix what Gareth Edwards broke. Namely, the lack of kaiju action and bland human characters. While I personally liked King of the Monsters, it’s undeniably that Doughtery didn’t quite “fix” those aspects. If anything, he muddled them beneath three additional monsters and Kyle Chander; King Ghidorah, Rodan, and Mothra masquerading as “more monster” through the illusion that more monsters = more monster action. This, plus the jumbled plot (not helped by the D&D plot armor wearing Millie Bobby Brown whose character made me want to actually leave the theater more than once) has proven to critics and some moviegoers that expectations =/= reality. Any armchair box office analyst can throw a dart, hit a number, and say that X movie will make that much money.

However, I’m not an armchair box office analyst. I’m an armchair box office analyst who actually bothers to follow the box office and trends. So, with that said, I’m here to take a gander at how Godzilla: King of the Monsters has been performing and make my own predictions as to how it’ll perform and give my thoughts on how this’ll affect next year’s Godzilla vs. Kong and the future of the Monsterverse as a whole.

Friday, May 24, 2019

Movie Review: Brightburn

The superhero genre has grown rather dull for me. Avengers: Endgame was so much movie that to a large degree, I realized that my excitement for Spider-Man: Far From Home had largely waned once I left the theater from Endgame. That isn't to say I don't have interest in superhero films anymore, but I don't find myself quite as hyped as I used to. This is due to how many of them by and large feel very alike; the characters are different, but the perils they face are more or less the same. Hero as a predicament, bad guy is there, hero fights bad guy, overcomes predicament, all is well.

Some superhero films have subverted that formula by throwing a few twists into the mix. Captain America: The Winter Soldier was a political thriller, Logan was a heart-wrenching film, and Deadpool was comedic. However, they are an exception to the rule. At their hearts, they are still superhero films that follow a traditional formula.

Then there's Brightburn. Brightburn is different. Brightburn is a superhero-horror film. And it isn't a very happy one at that.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Wednesday Weirdness: The City in the Sky

Going up to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky!)

It's where I'm gonna go when I die (when I die!)

When I die and they lay me to rest, I'm gonna go to the place that's the best!

And that place is the City in the Sky.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Monday Mystery: Gef the Talking Mongoose

Last week, I said I'd be covering the mystery of "Adam". However, due to last week having been extremely hellish, plus that story being a rather emotionally difficult one to cover. While I’ve read and written about some rather saddening topics, the story of Adam proved to be more than I could stomach for the time being. So, I’ve instead opted cover a significantly less heart wrenching story: Gef the Talking Mongoose.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Marchopping Block 16: Ringu (Brussels Cut)

Films go through numerous cuts before the finished product is released to the public, which is the consumed by the general population for their entertainment.

However, prior to that, there are premieres for the film. Sometimes, these premieres are at festivals, like the Brussels International Festival of Fantasy Film, where the 1998 Japanese horror film, Ringu, had its European debut (in 1999). Much like the rest of critics around the world, critics at the festival praised the film, primarily for its tense atmosphere, strong build up, and not relying on jump scares.

But the continued praise for Ringu wasn't the only thing to come out of the film festival. Along with it was the claim that the cut shown at it was a significantly more disturbing and violent one than the one shown elsewhere.

Marchopping Block 15: Need for Speed: Most Wanted 2

The Need For Speed (NFS for short) franchise has gone through many iterations. Everything from your standard street races with bright colored environments and cops chasing after you, to the late-night Fast and Furious inspired street races with car customization.

With numerous installments, a few reboots, and even a theatrical film starring Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul, Need For Speed is one of the, if not the most, well known Racing series of all time. Perhaps one of the series most popular entries was 2005’s Need For Speed: Most Wanted, the first installment on the then shiny, new Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Marchopping Block 14: This Man

Creepypasta’s are the internet generations version of campfire stories. Scary stories that are told and then passed around from person to person. BEN Drowned, Candle Cove, No End House, and many others fall into this category, with the latter two having been brought to the small screen thanks to  Sy-Fy’s television series, Channel Zero. It’s also thanks to that show that the genre has had its chance to showcase some of its best stories to people that would otherwise wouldn't think twice about reading the actual stories.

However Creepypasta's are no stranger to a larger format of entertainment media. Marble Hornets, the series that popularized Slender Man, was an internet film series. It was thanks in part to that series that Slender Man would become something of an icon in internet culture. Years later, he'd also get his very own feature film.

What am I getting stuff here? Creepypasta's, while they're often given a bad name thanks to the array of less-than good works, aren't strangers to the behemoth that is the entertainment industry. Case in point: This Man (also known as Ever Dream This Man?), a story that began to circulate towards the end of 2009, and quickly became a Creepypasta.